It was time
I checked the diary and her name looked familiar
She never misses her appointments
Today though, she doesn’t look very happy
Not angry, not at all, sad it is
We walked to the gym
The energy was not the same
She just used her last Rands
I ask her how she feels
Is there pain? Are you feeling better? Are you feeling worse?
She stares and replies
No, I’m fine
Mama but you came for your appointment
Are you sure there is no pain
No mtanam, no pain
I had a date though, I had to attend
She just used her last Rands
To make sure she really had no pain I do every test I could think of
Negative, they all came out
I leave her to go finalise her discharge
We are done Mama, no more physio, you can go home
She looks down, I don’t know how she says
I used my last Rands to attend my appointment
I feel bad she came just to be discharged
I know I a help, but am I allowed to?
First rule, beginning of block
You are the physio, they are the patients
Nothing personal.
I let her leave
Knowing she used her last Rands
3 thoughts on “should i give money to my patients”
Hey Nkululeko,
First off I think this is an awesome poem, and a great topic to do the assignment on, as it asks a very real question that I am sure many of us have encountered.
The only feedback I have is in the layout of your poem, which I know is personal to the poet, but I’m just going to give you some ideas which you may or may not want to use.
Maybe you can split the poem up into paragraphs each time you use the line “She used her last Rands” as this would give the reader a break in the flow of the poem, and let the words that have just been spoken sink in.
Maybe add a “.” to the end of the line “no I am fine” as this will give emphasis to the line that nothing is actually the matter.
In the line “I used my last Rands to attend my appointment”, maybe take out the “to attend to my appointment” section, as this will allow the redundancy of the line “I used my last rands” to be more powerful to the reader.
I hope this helped! Otherwise awesome job, I really enjoyed your writing.
Hi!
This is a great poem and a very relevant topic which most of our patients face. There isn’t much I would change at all.
I’ve picked up these few possible word changes:
“She looks down, I don’t know how she says” – should you rather use the word ‘what’ instead of ‘how’? I’m not sure if that was done on purpose but just check.
“I know I a help, but am I allowed to?” – just fix the mistake to ‘ I can help’ .
Give the poem a slow read through again, there are a few places were comers and full stops can go in order to make more of a statement within your writing.
Lastly, I think changing this line “I used my last Rands to attend my appointment” and this line “Knowing she used her last Rands” to “She just used her last Rands” will make it far more powerful to he reader as you are repeating the essence of the poem again and again.
But overall well done, this was a lovely read and thanks for sharing your work!
I hope my feedback helps.
Hey Nkululeko
First off, what a great poem! It sends a powerful message to the reader regarding the majority of the population in South Africa and their financial situations. We sometimes forget that we are treating people, and not just another injury. It also highlights the fact that we have to treat our patients as a whole – physically, emotionally and socially.
The only advice I have regarding your poem is to double check your use of punctuation marks (.,?!)
Maybe you can add one here and there, it will definitely help you emphasize a certain part of the poem you want the reader to really attach to:
“She looks down, I don’t know how she says” – Could be:
“She looks down, “I don’t know how”, she says”
It is a powerful poem that all of us in physiotherapy can relate to and reflect about. Well done