“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”- Maya Angelou. 

In this post, I would like to gain more knowledge on the concept of what it means to live a meaningful life.

A meaningful life is described as: “using your signature strengths and virtues in the service of something much larger than you are” (Seligman, 2007).

This definition made me reflect on a series of interactions I had with a patient on one of my clinical placements as a third year physiotherapy student.

Last year, on a clinical block at New Somerset hospital, I came to know a patient who sadly passed away from multiple organ failure. This patient complained of being unable to control his bladder and had lost feeling in his legs one morning after waking up. Although I never gave this patient any physiotherapy treatment, I learned more about him through conversations I had with him whilst I was completing my SOAP notes in the ward. Although he was only at the hospital for 10 days, his story was quite intriguing and left a deep impression on me. He worked as a mechanic, and his 3 sons worked together with him and trained under him. He taught his sons everything to do with cars. He was not a very religious man, and he told me that he was an alcoholic for the majority of his life- he drank daily for almost 30 years, he smoked almost a pack of cigarettes each, and his diet consisted of a lot of greasy and unhealthy foods- which led him to being admitted to hospital. He was diagnosed with diabetes [a condition where a person has elevated blood glucose levels (Diabetes, 2019)]- his blood glucose reading was about 17 mmol/L two days before his death, and was diagnosed with alcoholic hepatitis- a  syndrome characterized by jaundice (yellowish pigmentation of the skin and eyes) and liver failure that generally occurs after many years of alcohol abuse (Testino, 2013).

Admittedly, I judged his lifestyle and him as a person.

That was until I met his family, who visited him daily in the wards, his wife, sons, and his sons girlfriends and wives came to visit him, even the friends he had made over the years. His sons spoke about how he raised them, that although he was an alcoholic, he never abused his family in any way, he was present at all the big milestones in their lives, gave them jobs when they were unemployed, even though they knew very little about cars, gave them advice when it came to raising their children. One son even went on to say that his father had saved his life because he was a drug addict, and although his father could not afford rehabilitation, he took him under his wing and gave him a job and checked him for drugs daily. He was described as a person who was the life of the party, and brought joy to others, albeit through his excessive drinking habits.

For the 10 days that he was there, he told me that he had lost contact with his brothers and sisters due to the life he had lived, but once they heard about his illness they visited him and made peace before his death. I remember seeing his sons cry each time they came to visit because they feared that he would pass away, and they prayed over him during each visit. He was loved by so many people.

Speaking about meaning in life, Sword states: “having meaning in life, in effect, is through being a giver, and that by working through past sorrow, abuse, and failures should not just lead to regret, but rather resilience, resolve and even post traumatic growth. Especially when helping desperate others handle their suffering, we become hardier, and in doing so build up our grit potential” (Sword, 2015).

Therefore, this experience showed me that living a meaningful life is independent of one’s flaws and shortcomings, but rather about how one is able to treat others, influence the way people behave, and more importantly, how they make people feel. It is through this sad lesson that I have learned that life is so short, and that I need to be and do as much good as I can in this life because one day, I too will die, and over time I will be forgotten, but the example I set will leave an impression on those who come after me.

References

Diabetes. (2019). Retrieved from http://www.kznhealth.gov.za/diabetes1.htm 

Seligman, M. (2007). POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY IN SPACE [Blog]. Retrieved from https://positivepsychologynews.com/news/martin-seligman/20070401186 

Sword, R. (2015). Would you choose greater meaning over happiness? [Blog]. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-time-cure/201509/living-meaningful-life 

Testino, G. (2013). Alcoholic Hepatitis. Journal Of Medicine And Life, 6(2), 161-167. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3725441/pdf/JMedLife-06-161.pdf