where do we draw the line?

How is it that we are put in awkward and uncomfortable situations by patients in the name of compliments. How hard it is to wake up in the morning to go work with patients that temper with your emotions! How uncomfortable it is to work with patients that make you feel naked and exposed! Where must we draw the line?

I was working in a male ward, I had a patient of my age group. We had a patient-physio relationship at first and working with him was alright until the day he started complimenting everything about me. It started with small compliments like “you have beautiful eyes”, “your smile is catching”, “I like your skin”. To me they were simple compliments that I did not give attention to. I thought to myself that is it okay to be appreciated, little did I know the motive behind. As days passed by, he started with “I like your skin” compliments, “your hands are warm”, “I like the way to touch me”. Emerson (2007) did the study on the analysis of the importance of the use of proper speech and nvc in the context of various situations, in keeping the social order intact.  He states that there is a certain speech that must be used in workplace and it comes with respect. He says that certain words are not appropriate to be used in certain places or with certain people ( Emerson, 2007). This is what he is talking about! The compliments were off to me, he was totally off the track. I was not comfortable with those compliments at all and he would even look at me lustfully. I told him I am not comfortable with his compliments anymore and he must keep them to himself, but he would still look at me funny.

I found that very disturbing and when I confronted him, he said he cannot help it, he thinks he likes me. There I realized we have a problem. Someone needs to act quickly and ethically for our own sakes. I told him how I felt about what he does and would appreciate if he stops and work with me as his physio with respect. Unfortunately, he did not stop. therefore, I wondered if I did not handle it right from the first place or he just does not know where to draw the line. Was I not to supposed to let him compliment me from the first place? According to Nielse (2017) Care workers are often exposed to sexual harassment from patients. However, we tend to ignore this as though it is not real.

This was a very disturbing experience for me because it affected how I treated him afterward. I would just go to him, greet him and do what I have to do quick and leave meaning that i would not have an effective treatment woth him. Unfortunately, this did not affect him only but other male patients that I had because I’d put this protective look on my face. I was scared and trying to protect myself. I became this mean person simply to avoid feeling exposed and naked, fear of being sexually harassed. Even worse working with another patient in his ward, I would not be comfortable because in my mind I am thinking that guy is probably looking at me lustfully. I need to get out of this ward as quickly as I can! All my male patients were affected by this, our treatment sessions were not as effective as they should, or they were before.

To some extent I feel like I should have done something at a very early stage. I as a professional should draw the line and make it clear to patients where to draw the line and learn how to deal with situations better. Had I dealt with it better, it wouldn’t have affected other patients. How I treat them and judge them. I built unnecessary wall between me and male patients. It was very unethical of me to react that way as much as it was unethical of him to do what he did. Silas (2007) states that there should be a contract involving clear policies so that everyone who works or uses the workplace understands expectations and consequences of inappropriate behaviour. They should be some form of awareness in hospitals against such things.

Referrence

Emerson, J. P. (2008). Behaviour in private places: sustaining definitions of reality in gynecological examinations. Recent sociology74(2). Retrieved from; https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1312385

Nielsen, M. B. D., Kjær, S., Aldrich, P. T., Madsen, I. E., Friborg, M. K., Rugulies, R., & Folker, A. P. (2017). Sexual harassment in care work–Dilemmas and consequences: A qualitative investigation. International journal of nursing studies70, 122-130. Retrieved from ; https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0020748917300548

Silas, L. (2007). From promise to practice: getting healthy work environments in health workplaces. Healthcare Papers7(I), 46. Retrieved from; https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/f7cc/736e3e2b4253d097e32d8e18bb7a8c3664fd.pdf

Picture retrieved from; https://int.search.tb.ask.com/search/AJimage.jhtml?&n=&pg=AJimage&pn=4&qs=&searchfor=scared&ss=sub&st=site&tpr=sbt&ots=1558719999248&imgs=1p&filter=on&imgDetail=true

6 thoughts on “where do we draw the line?

  1. Hi there Kat,

    Thank you for sharing your writing piece about where to draw the line. I am going to follow the rubric guidelines for feedback.

    Context: The information and feelings described in your writing really makes an immense contribution to the topic. The evidence and examples shown throughout the writing piece, enables the reader to relate to the topic. I feel that all paragraphs flow in a logical sequence.

    Discussion: The topic relates to the work that we have covered in our ethical lectures. I think you linked this topic well to your personal clinical experience and how, in that sense, it has been problematic to you. You proposed strong arguments with good statements and reasoning. You have good referenced statements, which definitely validates what you are saying in your writing piece. You mentioned that afterwards, you treated him quickly. Maybe explain how this specific incident became problematic to your physiotherapy treatment (i.e. relating it to effectiveness).

    Engagement: By using examples that anyone can relate to and by describing feelings you felt due to the inappropriate remarks, really helped me to understand how you felt. Furthermore, you described how it affects you as a physiotherapists and how it made you feel guarded to other male patients.

    Writing Style: I felt very intrigued by the introduction since it was in the format of questions, which really encouraged me to think. The text flowed very well, each paragraph dealing with a different topic.
    Just have a look at the word in paragraph 2: “Emerson (2007) did the study on the analysis of the importance of the use of proper speech and *nvc* in the context of various situations, in keeping the social order intact.”
    Include the authors name, in paragraph 2: “He says that certain words are not appropriate to be used in certain places or with certain people (2007)”
    In paragraph 3: “Therefore, I wondered if I did not handle it right from the first place or he just does not know where to draw the line. Was I not to supposed to let him compliment me from the first place?”
    In paragraph 4: “This was a very disturbing experience for me because it affected how I treated him afterwards.”
    Last paragraph: “Had I dealt with it better, it wouldn’t have affected other patients in the sense of how I treat them and judge them.”

    References: Good use of references and in-text references.

    Time/Length: Handed in on time and length is sufficient.

    Information Literacy: The picture really intrigued me and it links well to your writing piece.

    I enjoyed reading this; it really made realise the urgency of this matter. I think you handled it in a professional matter and so sorry that this happened to you.

    Well done Kat!
    – Jana x

  2. Hi Kat

    Thank you for your submission! I am sorry that you had to experience this during your clinical rotations but I think you handled the situation really well! Please see my comments regarding your feedback below.

    Content:
    I think the topic of harassment is relevant to our ethics module as it is an ongoing problem we as health professionals (and especially students) face on a regular basis. I like how you were able to connect your emotions and clinical experiences to the piece. I think the text and the topic compliment each other well and it helps to create depth to your piece. However, I am struggling to find a connection between your writing piece and the topic photo provided. Have you considered adding a poem or cartoon image describing the feelings that an individual experiences when they are in the same situation as you? I think it would help to make your piece more thought provoking. Furthermore I think your paragraphs flowed really well and I think your description of your experience is strong intriguing!

    Argument:
    I like how you started your writing piece with a series of questions relating to your topic as it helps to create more depth to your piece. I think your argument is clear and easy to follow. However, have you considered adding more literature re: the specific boundaries between health professionals and patients? I think it will help the reader understand how the relationship between health professionals and patients should be before explaining how it should not, as per your piece.

    References:
    There is a good usage of in-text references and it helps to validate the statements made in your writing piece. Furthermore, the reference list is in a good format!

    Writing:
    In addition to what Jana has found, I will highlight what I found as well.

    In paragraph two: add an in-text reference to sentence “He states that there is a certain speech that must be used..” and don’t forget to add the author’s name as Jana suggested in sentence “He says that certain words are not appropriate..”. In addition, the sentence “I told him I am not comfortable with his compliments anymore; he must keep it to himself..” could be written as “I told him I am not comfortable with his compliments anymore and that he should keep it to himself..”

    Paragraph three and five: Try to start sentences with a capital letter, par 3 -“therefore, I wondered..” ; par 5 – “how I treat them..” and par 5 – “it was very unethical of me..”

    Besides the grammatical errors, I think it is a very well written piece with lots of intriguing statements.
    Good luck for your final submission!

    Raadiyah x

  3. Hi Kat!
    Thank you for sharing your experience with us. This is indeed a serious problem at a clinical rotation, and for bringing it to light I hope it can be a matter to be dealt with, in anyway possible.

    I didn’t find any other errors different from what our peers have highlighted, therefore I will avoid repeating the same comments and just wish you all the best with your final submission and well done on standing your ground.

    Cebi xx

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