Big brown eyes
A confused look
No smile, no one near
Big brown eyes filled with fear
I moved closer just to meet a glare
There was an overwhelming sadness in the air
I looked around, no one was near
I stepped closer to remove the fear
There he was with those big brown eyes
Abracadabra, time for my last trick
As I blew up the hospital glove
I realize all this child wants is LOVE
Still no one near

Within South Africa, there is an estimated 8.9 of children are currently or have previously experienced child neglect. (Anon, 2019). The poem above is a poem I wrote about my first encounter with child neglect. It was surely a day I will never forget. I remember the day like it was yesterday.

It was my first week of block at RXH and I had just been assigned a new patient. Upon my arrival to the patient, I noticed that he was fast asleep and there was no parent in sight. As I approached his cot side to read his file the sound of the toys I had brought with me woke the patient. He then opened his big brown eyes and looked at me. His eyes were filled with confusion and fear. As I moved closer towards him the look of fear progressed in his eyes. I tried to make him smile with toys and bubbles but nothing worked. Next thing I knew the tears began to fall down his cheek. I kept thinking to myself, “what now? His mother is going to kill me if I just woke him and she just put him to sleep”. During my state of panic, I looked around the room to see if anyone was rushing to nurse him back to sleep but there was no one. Not a single parent insight.

I then picked up the patient and began to calm him down. A few minutes passed and eventually to my disbelieve, the patient eventually calmed down and stopped crying. I then began my assessment and treatment session. Throughout the entire process, I found myself falling-in-love with this child. His adorable little smile and laugh was almost irresistible.

The only problem that arose during our session was when I wanted to leave. The moment I laid my patient back in his cot he began to cry and wouldn’t stop crying unless I stayed with him. It was at this point when I realized the effects of child neglect. This young boy was so afraid to let me leave probably because he doesn’t know when he will get attention again. This unfortunate observation is confirmed by Drotar (1992) who notes that maternal detachment and lack of parental availability harms the development of bonding and attachment between a child and parent, affecting the neglected child’s expectations of adult availability and negatively affects the child’s view of attachment and social relationships. Therefore resulting in neglected children forming strong attachments to people who provide them with affection and attention. (Drotar, 1992.)(Doyle & Timms, n.d.).

At this point, my heart was so broken that I stay with him until he fell asleep. Once he fell asleep I contacted the social worker who was dealing with his case. She then told me that she is in the process of getting the patient out of the custody of his parents due to their gross negligence over the past 3 months. However, the issue that they’re facing at the moment is that the parent do not want to consent to the removal of the child from their custody. Therefore they are unable to assist the patient until his parent’s consent. This is on the Children’s Act (2005) regarding child neglect which states no child may be removed from the custody of his/her parent unless the parent provides consent or if there is proof that the child has been neglected over the course of 12 months. (“Justice/Resources/Services/Adoption”, 2019).

I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that this child’s existence is in a state of melancholy and loneliness purely because the law isn’t effective enough. This poor child’s life is now limited because of the law. What is childhood without love, without attention, without affection? Unfortunately, this is the reality for this young boy, not just a simple question. This is his entire existence put into a question consisting of 9 words. I felt so enraged and heartbroken by this process. All I could think of was that this child could be in a loving home with loving adoptive parents but this isn’t the because of the law. This young boy is in line for a world full of consequences which were based on the decisions of his parents. This young boy’s entire adulthood tainted by the risk of developing psychological, psychosocial and cognitive disorders. According to Cohen et al, 2001 children who have suffered from neglect as a young child have a higher risk of forming psychological, psychosocial and cognitive disorders. This made me so frustrated because I wanted to help this boy so badly but there was nothing I could do

This bring me to my ethical dilemma of what do you do when the law doesn’t work. What do you do when you know the law is causing more harm than it is stopping? do you take matters into your own hands because you believe what you are doing is ethically and morally correct or do turn a blind eye and keep moving?

References

(Anon, 2019). Retrieved 16 September 2019, from http://www.cjcp.org.za/uploads/2/7/8/4/27845461/cjcp_ubs_web.pdf

COHEN, P., BROWN, J., & SMAILES, E. (2001). Child abuse and neglect and the development of mental disorders in the general population. Development And Psychopathology, 13(4), 981-999. doi: 10.1017/s0954579401004126

Doyle, C., & Timms, C. Child neglect & emotional abuse.

Justice/Resources/Services/Adoption. (2019). Retrieved 27 September 2019, from http://www.justice.gov.za/services/child-adoption.html